No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize