Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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