We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Two words: nipple clamps
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