you turned your livingroom into a bong?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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