so explain again why im purple
no
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
