No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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