if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
