if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
