Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
God I need to hump something, right now.
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