do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
