i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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