I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
The power of my boobs compel you
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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