mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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