was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
my liver is dry heaving
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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