it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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