She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
this is an emotional support booty call
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
