hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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