So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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