no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
