yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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