Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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