I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We got so high we made milksteak
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
