i barfeds in our rink
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
