i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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