I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
