you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
