I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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