i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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