i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
