we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When are your genitals available?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
