he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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