i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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