is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
