in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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