yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I will be naked everywhere
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
