I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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