Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
