I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
