Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
