hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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