Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this will be a night to untag.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I will pee on everything he values.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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