This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
