Someone shit on the floor
I think my vagina is haunted
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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