This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
