16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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