You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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