so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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