Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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