Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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