I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
