i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
