I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
