a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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